92 Funny New Year Messages, Quotes and Wishes in 2022

A little levity in New Year’s greetings may go a long way. The new year is an excellent time to share our excitement with our siblings, friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, and wives. A new year’s wish is something you can utilise on New Year’s Eve to offer your joy and love. A little smart humour is what makes a new year’s wish humorous and funny. Send some amusing New Year’s greetings to brighten up people’s days. Send these witty or snarky New Year texts to your friends and family to make them laugh heartily. If you do not know what to send then do not worry as we are here to help. You will be happy to know that we have collected diverse Funny New Year Messages, Quotes and Wishes that include Funny New Year Wishes, Cute and Funny New Year Wishes, Funny New Year Messages, Sweet and Funny New Year Wishes, Funny New Year Wishes for Friends, Funny New Year Wishes in English, Funny New Year Quotes and Funny New Year Quotes for Him.

This article has more Funny New Year Messages, Quotes and Wishes like Funny New Year Quotes for Her and Sarcastic New Year Wishes 2022. Make them laugh with your jokes and they’ll compliment you on your cleverness. Here are some fantastically amusing new year wishes and phrases to use as happy new year text messages, greetings, and card messages. Never hold back from sharing the excitement of the new year. You may always win your loved ones’ hearts by sending the funniest new year wishes.

Top 10 Funny New Year Messages, Quotes and Wishes in 2022

1. “New Year’s is the time to forget all your fears, drink a few beers, and leave behind all your tears!”

Sometimes all people want is a simple message or a quote but that one must be catchy and impressive. If you want a simple funny New year Message for your loved ones then you are in the perfect place. If you like this one then go ahead and use this one.

2. “Happy New Year from someone adorable, handsome, intelligent, and who wants to see you smiling always.”

You know there is never a better time than during the New Year to tell your man how much you love and appreciate his presence in your life. So why not pick up your phone and just type a funny New Year message from your heart? If you have a problem in doing so then you can go ahead and copy-paste this one right here.

3. “Don’t ask about my new year’s resolutions because all my past resolutions are yet to be done. Have a blessed new year!”

If you are here because you are on the lookout for a funny New Year Message for your lover then be happy because you’re at your final stop. We searched the whole web and found this one for you. You can go ahead and use this message.

4. “My new year’s resolution is 1920 x 1080.”

Messages and wishes that are short and crispy always make their way into our list. We prefer to add short ones because sometimes people just hate reading big captions, so for their convenience, we’ve added this Short funny New Year Message that you can send to your lover.

5. “Happy New Year! Spoiler alert–it’s going to feel the same.”

Are you having a tough day as you’re searching for a funny New Year Message for your loved ones all day and still failed to find the perfect one? If this is the case then let us solve this problem. You’ll be glad to know that we’ve got the perfect one and you can use it if you like it as much as we do.

6. “New years are like restart buttons. You think you can push the button and start things all over again but then realize your life is too messed up to be restarted fresh!”

There are only a few months left until New Year. This auspicious day will bring the world together to make it a memorable experience. The girl in your life who is your lifeblood deserves to be remembered on this joyous day. There is no better time than the new year to let her know that your heart beats for her. This is a funny New Year Message for the love of your life.

7. “So excited for you guys to ruin another year of your life. Have a merry and Happy New Year.”

If you ever find it hard to put in words what you feel during New Year then no need to worry as you can use this classy funny New Year message to send a heartfelt message to your loved ones. This one sure is a classic and if this message doesn’t melt her heart then believe us nothing will.

8. “Sorry for all the annoying behaviour I did throughout the year. May you give me another chance to do that in the next New Year!”

All the sadness and unfortunate moments from the previous year will be left behind as a bright New Year approaches. Be sure to wish a happy New Year to all your loved ones, starting with this cute and funny New Year message.

9. “A new year doesn’t come to change your life. It comes to remind you that one more year has gone and you’re still the same useless moron who thinks he can make his resolutions come true!”

There is nothing more exciting than a new beginning on New Year’s Day. The year has come to an end and it’s time to look forward to the year ahead. Wishing family and friends a happy new year is a good way to start the year. Taking the time to let people know you are thinking about them is a wonderful gesture. If you don’t what to send then you can use this funny New Year message.

10. “May this new year bring you more money so that you can buy expensive gifts for me. Happy new year!”

Your messages can be more fun if you make fun of them or say something cute, rather than just wishing you a happy new year. Laughter is the best way to start the New Year. Here we have the perfect funny New Year message to share your joy.

Funny New Year Wishes

The start of a new year is an excellent opportunity to express our excitement with our siblings, friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, and wives.

  • I would quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
  • May your dreams get fulfilled as well as your bills. Best of luck with the New Year, dear.
  • I hope you start the New Year as the startup of your old habits. Have the same old beautiful life in a box of New Year!
  • A new year doesn’t come to change your life. It comes to remind you that one more year has gone and you’re still the same useless moron who thinks he can make his resolutions come true!
  • Life is short and every new year makes it even shorter. Happy new year! You just waved goodbye to one more year of your short life!
  • A new year doesn’t stop the ghosts from your past mistake coming back to haunt you. So, if you think you’re over it, you’re wrong. Happy new year!
  • Don’t ask about my new year’s resolutions because all my past resolutions are yet to be done. Have a blessed new year!
  • I hope you make a revolution of losing 20 pounds in the coming year and gain 30 pounds more instead. Wish you a New Year full of positivity!
  • A new year with the same old worries and tension. Buckle up, drink some more, and peace out for the rest of the night. Happy New Year.
Funny New Year Wishes
Funny New Year Wishes

Cute and Funny New Year Wishes

Instead, you want them to acquire weight, seem chubby and older, and partake in unending parties and celebrations of your achievement. These outlandish desires will wow them and leave them with a slew of fond memories. Use your witty actions to share your happy and loving times.

  • Happy new year! This year may finally realize that real fun in life comes from real people, not from virtual ones. Have a great year!
  • Sorry for all the annoying behavior I did throughout the year. May you give me another chance to do that in the next New Year!
  • It’s a new year once again and it’s the same old life you’re living once again. What is there to celebrate?
  • May this upcoming year actually bring change in you – not just all your old habits wrapped in a new package! Happy New year, anyways.
  • New Year’s is the time to forget all your fears, drink a few beers, leave behind all your tears!
  • Happy New Year! Spoiler alert–it’s going to feel the same.
  • Happy New Year! It is midnight already, and you are getting old – just go to sleep!
  • If all the heartbreaks and troubles from the last year didn’t make you strong, let me wish one more year full of agony and tears. I really want you to be stronger. Happy new year!
  • May you become smart enough to realize that resolutions don’t come true and wise enough to know that the difference between a new year and an old year is 1-minute past 12 AM.
  • The funniest part of a new year is making new resolutions. I am pretty sure you have one too. Let me know about your resolution and I’ll try not to laugh as I did in the last year.
  • Happy new year! How’d it be if instead of bringing happiness, joy, and peace, new year’s brought cash, fame and champagne?
  • New years are like pages in a book that’s so boring. You always think that the next page will be interesting, but it turns out to be the same every time. Happy new year!
  • May this new year bring you more money so that you can buy expensive gifts for me. Happy new year!
  • If you were born in September, it is better to assume that your parents started their new year successfully.
  • May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pains. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person.
  • Here’s a new year wish for you before the network gets jammed. I hope you’re having great fun. Wishing you a successful year ahead!
  • New years are like restart buttons. You think you can push the button and start things all over again but then realize your life is too messed up to be restarted fresh!
  • So excited for you guys to ruin another year of your life. Have a merry and Happy New Year 2022.
  • God is kind enough to give you a new year but not so kind to give you a new life. Happy new year 2022!
  • Happy New Year from someone adorable, handsome, intelligent, and who wants to see you smiling always.
  • Let us celebrate this New Year’s Eve in honor of the time we successfully wasted this year.
  • Though I am wishing you a very happy New Year, but remember you still have the same old husband!
  • I hope growing up is not included in your resolution this year. Let’s just live it like the old ones and we can grow up in some other years. Happy new year 2022, partner!
Cute and Funny New Year Wishes
Cute and Funny New Year Wishes

Funny New Year Messages

 On New Year’s Eve, you might utilize a new year’s wish to express your moments of happiness and love. A little smart humor is what makes a new year’s wish humorous and entertaining.

  • As the clock strikes twelve, may you have the stamina to wish all of your in-numerous Facebook Friends a Happy New Year.
  • I hope you finally learn how to put your brain to use this year. I wish you a happy new year!
  • All I wish to get drunk and dance with you all night long on this 31st night, Happy New Year!
  • May this New Year bring actual change in you – not the recurrence of old habits in a new package.
  • New Year is a new beginning, so make new resolutions that you are absolutely going to ditch this year.
  • Be cool and take part in making New Year’s resolutions- just be super cool and do not make them come true. Happy New Year.
  • I cannot believe another year has come for us to ruin, looking forward to doing the same thing all over again. Happy new year!
  • I’m gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say I ordered this a year ago, lol.
  • They say pain and tears help one to be stronger, So I am wishing you more tears and pain. For you to become even stronger than last year. Happy New Year!
Funny New Year Messages
Funny New Year Messages

Sweet and Funny New Year Wishes

Tell them you don’t want them to succeed, lose weight, join a gym, eat well, or get married this year.

  • I hope this year ends up with your smiling selfie to see on the Facebook posts. Wish you a bright and joyful New Year!
  • As you turn a new leaf in your Book of Life with the advent of New Year, here is wishing you the addition of meaningful chapters. Happy New Year 2022!
  • It’s the thing that satisfies your mind, body and soul! Do it on the bed, on a sofa, in the car or anywhere! It’s called Prayer! God bless your naughty mind. Happy new year!
  • funny new year wishes
  • I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year. Happy New Year!
  • Wishing you successful 12 months, Joyful 52 weeks, lovely 365 days, memorable 8760 hours, blessings of 525600 minutes and happiest 31536000 seconds. Happy New Year!
  • May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
  • I saved you from spending a fortune on a New Year’s party – I sent you an invitation for an online party!
  • I promise not to drink beer anymore, but can I have a bottle more since it’s not yet the eve? Happy New Year, dear!
  • Before I get drunk, dance on the bar, lose my phone, get naked and get arrested, Let me wish you a Happy New Year.
  • The most fun part about making New Year’s resolutions is breaking New Year’s resolutions. Can’t wait to mess up with you.
  • A New Year means you will be a little bit older but not any wiser than today! Alas!
  • Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, Salman Khan, Jennifer Lopez, Amitabh Bachchan and Me. All the stars wish you a very happy new year.
  • This New Year, be at peace with your appearance, you are perfectly in shape – round is a shape in geometry!
  • May your trips and tricks work amazing for you in this upcoming year. Stay sane and sober.
  • If I had done you wrong, I am sorry. May you still give me a chance this New Year to do it over and over again. Happy New Year!
  • This Year may your hair and teeth, your face-lift, abs and stocks not fall, may your blood pressure, your cholesterol, white blood count, and mortgage interest not rise. Happy New Year!
  • My New Year’s resolution is to eat less so that I can be sexier. But whenever I see your fat body, I guess I am already successful with my resolution so that I won’t do it anymore. Happy New Year to you!
  • I hope this new year brings you joy and happiness because oh lord you look so ugly when you end up crying. I don’t want to witness that ever again.
Sweet and Funny New Year Wishes
Sweet and Funny New Year Wishes

Funny New Year Wishes for Friends

 Here are some hysterically amusing new year wishes and phrases to use as happy new year text messages, new year greetings, or new year card texts. Never be afraid to share the joy of the new year with others. 

  • I hope you will finally pay off all the debts you owe to me for making my life miserable. Looking forward to that, best wishes.
  • This year, I won’t be able to wish you success, as you already have so much. This will be my year! Here’s to another new year!
  • May you learn to use your brain in the coming year. It’s a wonder that you got through all these years without having one. Happy new year!
  • You have so many things to gain this year including success, fame, and wisdom. Don’t just focus on gaining weight instead. Happy new year dear friend!
  • Welcome the New Year with your ugly smile and scare all the evils away. Have a great year ahead.
  • May God bless you with enough motivation to eat less and work out more often. Say no to obesity this new year! Wishing you all the best!
  • I wish God give you more money to help the poor and less money to spend on junk foods. Wishing you a healthy and disease-free year!
Funny New Year Wishes for Friends
Funny New Year Wishes for Friends

Funny New Year Wishes in English

Sharing some hilarious New Year greetings is the ideal method to begin a new chapter in your life at this precise moment. 

  • Have a tremendous New Year while giving everyone a hard time apart from me. Cheers to that.
  • A new year, a new beginning? Naah, who are you lying to, mate? Just try to keep things under control this year. Happy New Year.
  • I hope you lose so much weight this year that you can take group selfies with more people on the frame. Happy new year!
  • I hope you will not spend the first day of the new year sleeping on the couch. May God give you the strength to fight with laziness. Happy new year!
  • Hope you will not be bothered with New Year’s resolutions this year as well. May God bless you, friend.
  • Last year, I was an absolutely horrible person toward you so that I will make up for it this year, but I don’t think I will apologize for my past deeds. New Year, new me.
  • May your year be filled with no mistakes- oh wait! You are a mistake itself. Joking! Have a wonderful time in this festive season.
  • I hope I won’t have to do stupid things alone this year, not letting you go this easy. Happy new year, buddy!
  • Have some faith in me, this year just like the previous ones- I will be your partner in crime.
  • Wasted another year and will waste more, but thank god I am doing this with you. Happy new year!
Funny New Year Wishes in English
Funny New Year Wishes in English

Funny New Year Quotes

Sending the funniest new year wishes will always win the hearts of your loved ones. Make them laugh out loud by making them grin.

  • May you become a billionaire this year, as I have dreamt that you are going to gift me a bungalow! Have a prosperous New Year!
  • “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
  • “It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” – William Thomas
  • “New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.” – Charles Lamb
  • It is a New Year wish from someone intelligent, beautiful and sexy; I want to see you always happy!
  • May you have a New Year full of rocking things that never happened before! Cheers to another year of life!
  • This New Year hope you are not tempted to pile up on health food cookbooks and then end up heating frozen food at mealtimes.
  • I hope you can carry on your resolution to not smoking for a long day this New Year!
  • “New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” – James Agate
  • “May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” – Joey Adams
  • “I will quit drinking beer from 2022 new year’s eve but red wine, Russian vodka and champagne are welcome!”
  • “I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years.” – Henry Moore
  • “Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.” – Brooks Atkinson
  • “This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.” – Taylor Swift
  • funny new year quote
  • “New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” – Mark Twain
  • This Year, I wish your neighbor does not ask you to babysit his tantrum-throwing daughter on weekends. Happy New Year!
  • “Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” – Oscar Wilde
  • Always keep a smile, forget the tears, enjoy the laughter, and set aside the fear; wish you an amazing year!
  • “My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.” -Anonymous
  • Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
Funny New Year Quotes
Funny New Year Quotes

Funny New Year Quotes for Him

Sending some amusing new year’s sayings to your closest friends and loved ones might help you face the new year with a cheerful mindset. You’ll discover some amusing text or greeting card ideas below to commemorate the event.

  • May this new year your resolution be to buy me more gifts and hold my shopping bags. Happy new year, sweety!
  • Happy New Year! Thanks for being by my side and doing stupidity with me on this day and every other one.
  • Even though you assume you are perfect, do get some New Year’s resolutions and work on them. Love ya.
  • This New Year, I wish you overcome all the obstacles and Have an awesome new year, my lifeline.
  • Darling, Happy New Year! I hope you will not post something super funny and be embarrassed on the first day of the year. Love yaa.
  • I will try to be more understanding, less critical, more thoughtful, and less annoying this year. Enjoy the brand new year!
  • May all your healthy life habits get stored in your mindset and bring you perfect results. Happy New Year, love.
  • Happy new year, love! I hope this year you finally realize I am right about everything.
  • I hope that I will be with a woman other than you this New Year. I am tired of being your boyfriend. I think I want to try being your husband instead.
  • Hope all your troubles last as long as your will to fulfill your New Year’s resolution. Happy New Year and happy days, darling.
  • May this New Year bring you opportunities to go crazy, love. Happy New Year. Let’s drink till we pass out.
  • Hope you are not looking to make new starts to the old New Year habits. Love you tons.
Funny New Year Quotes for Him
Funny New Year Quotes for Him

Funny New Year Quotes for Her

If you don’t think your pals are deserving of a sophisticated greeting from you. Just add these most hilarious and amusing New Year’s greetings to the mix. LOL…CRAZY!!

  • This year, may you learn how to cook more delicious food so that I can have the time of my life. Here’s to another new year!
  • Happy New Year, Sweetheart. I hope you won’t shed ugly tears this year at all. I would love to witness only your happy face. Love you.
  • May God bless us and grace me with patience to deal with you. Joking, you are the LOML. Happy New Year, babe!
  • Another year had passed of me tolerating the annoying you. I hope you are less annoying this year. Happy new year!
  • Happy new year, sweetheart! I hope this year you shop a little less than you usually do and save some money.
  • May you have a prosperous year and write me an amount of cheque. Paying hard for this miracle to take place. Love you to the moon.
  • All I wish this new eve comes with a lot of joys for you since you look ugly while crying. Happy New Year!
  • Dear, I hope you can match your foundation shade throughout the year. Have a great year. Tons of love.
  • My person, Happy New Year. May this year brings you love and happiness. I hope I will disappoint you lesser than last year. Tons of Love.
  • May the drinks take you throughout the year and make you forget about your miserable times. Best wishes, darling.
  • Cheers to another year of resolution you would meet halfway through, but sweetheart, I would love you anyway.
  • May the New Year be like a trip inside Santa’s gift bag that is well stocked with all that you have been eyeing since the Black Friday sale.
Funny New Year Quotes for Her
Funny New Year Quotes for Her

Sarcastic New Year Wishes 2022

Make them smile and burst into laughter by texting a funny new year wish like the ones we have here!

  • This new year, make some resolutions you will at least try to fulfill rather than the past year’s one. Best of luck and Happy New Year.
  • I will no longer wish you more success. You’ve had so much already. It should be mine this year! Happy new year to me!
  • Do I need new resolutions this year? I don’t think so, since I have already finished all possible resolutions. Happy new year!
  • Take care how you meet and greet with people this New Year since broken spirits have no available spare parts!
  • Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now ordinary… which means you have met your New Year’s resolution.
  • Cheers to the upcoming year- to the new blenders that we will bring into our lives. Best of luck to us.
  • May you find more time to help out the ignored and unattended people this New Year – and begin your charity at home – with your spouse.
  • May your New Year show you the shapeliest reflection in the mirror – so jog to the gym every day!
  • It’s New Year’s Eve! Time for fireworks and treats. Just be careful though, Be safe or you’ll lose a finger or two. Have a wonderful new year!
  • Don’t be so worried about what you eat between Christmas and New Year’s but worry more about what you eat between New Year’s and Christmas.
  • New Year Resolution: tolerate friends and family with extreme care even when they burn down your privacy!
  • May you have the grace and wisdom to act kindly, learning to distinguish between what is personal and what is not. May you have good friends to mirror your blind spots.
  • I’m sorry, a special sorry for you! Please Excuse my mistakes at the beginning of the new year and Get Ready in New Year for New Mistakes! Because I can’t change myself, Happy New Year!
  • This New Year brings you new opportunities hope you will not be a scarecrow and ace them. Then again, you as a scarecrow would look good. Happy New Year.
  • Another year has come, and we are still wasting our time doing nothing. Time for us to celebrate this again. Happy new year!
  • May you abandon fear, addictions and all other kinds of suppression and slavery in the coming year.
  • This Year, may god motivate you to indulge less in office gossips. Happy New Year!
  • My new year resolution is to let go of all my bad habits. Let’s go and do it all together for the last time again. Happy new year!
Sarcastic New Year Wishes 2022
Sarcastic New Year Wishes 2022

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Conclusion

We have collected all the above-mentioned Funny New Year Messages, Quotes and Wishes from all over the internet and we hope you get your desired message or wish by the time you read this. Lastly, we sincerely hope that you like these messages and quotes as much as we do. Enjoy.

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