Although retirement is a time for relaxation, leaving a familiar workplace and adjusting to new daily routines can be frightening. People are bound to feel nostalgic when they retire. They are frequently depressed due to a lack of motivation. Do you know someone who has recently retired and would appreciate some amusing retirement wishes?
Sending the person some amusing retirement greetings is the best approach to do it. Find some amusing retirement quotes and messages below to wish the retiree a good and enjoyable retirement.
Funny Retirement Wishes
Want to write a personalized retirement message that will make them smile and feel good about themselves and proud of all they have achieved? Just mix one or more of these wishes to create your own retirement wishes for the lucky retiree!
- Seeing your performance over the years you’ve worked, I’m sure that you’ll be very good at doing nothing!
- All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Congratulations.
- No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditation’s you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.
- funny retirement messages
- Before you’d have to wait for holidays, now the rest of your life is one! Do enjoy it.
- Now you get a new boss who knows about your true work ethic, organizational skills, and excuses. Spouses make the toughest bosses. Good luck!
- Now you’re rich and fat, what can be a perfect time for retiring? You’ve chosen the right path!
- Retirement is like graduation- only this time, you will do a masters on laziness!
- Have a happy retirement and try not to take life too seriously. After all, for all the years that you were working, you took things easy. Why should you change now?
- For someone who looks forward to lay around all day, retirement must be thrilling! Have fun.
- It doesn’t matter whether you behave like a grumpy retiree or not, because people are going to assume that anyways. Good luck dealing with that.
- Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time and it’s called – Doing Nothing.
- Health, family, friends and relationships are some of the things that you sacrificed in your life so that you could work harder and earn more money. Now you will realize that you need these things to enjoy retirement. Such is the irony of life.
- After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger. All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart.
Funny Retirement Messages For Colleague
In this section, you’ll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message.
- When people say that this place will not be the same without you, they actually mean that it will be less annoying.
- You’re retiring now? I thought you did it the day you joined here. I mean, when did you ever work?
- Don’t let everyone’s loving words fool you; I’m the only one in the office who is going to miss you.
- funny retirement quotes for coworkers
- People who call sloths the laziest animals surely have never met you. You were born to retire, buddy.
- If this workplace were a hell, which it is, you’d be one of the greatest devils of it, and you’ll be missed.
Funny Retirement Messages For Coworkers
Wish your coworker the very best for their retirement and the next chapter of life with one of these retirement sentiments. Use these retirement wishes as a starting point to personalize your own retirement message, then add something specific that you’re grateful for or acknowledge a particular work achievement.
- This is the only time when everyone at the office will be looking up to you. Who doesn’t want to get out of this place!
- I’m jealous that every day of the week will be the weekend for you. Have a good life ahead!
- I used to be excited about retirement until I saw you. God forbid that I become as grumpy as you!
- Ah retirement, the days of daydreaming and sleeping till noon, all the things you’re good at!
- Congratulations on leaving the job and not getting fired after missing so many deadlines!
Funny Retirement Messages For Boss
These retirement congratulations are for wishing your boss all the best for their retirement. You can use these retirement wishes ideas as a starting point to personalize your own retirement message.
- You’re done bossing us, now you can do it around your grandkids and pets; because bossing is in your blood.
- I’ve always been more excited about your retirement than my own, and you can obviously guess why!
- We will miss you, boss, other than your screaming, glowering, and pretty much showing up at the office.
- Who said bosses have to be scary? Seeing you, I’ve come to believe that bosses are not only scary but also frightful!
- Your retirement hurts me; not because you’re leaving, but because of the worry that what if the next boss also happens to be like you?
Funny Retirement Messages For Husband
So wish them a happy retirement with a few jokes and a personal touch, and they’ll remember your words for the rest of their lives.
- Dear husband, congratulations on your new-found freedom! keep calm and have fun.
- Finally, you’ve retired, and you cannot give the excuse of work anymore. Marriage is going to be great again!
- Happy retirement hubby. I’m happier on your retirement than you. At least you have no excuse to make time for me.
- Thank God, now I have a new 24/7 assistant at my home! Happy retirement to my life long helper.
- Happy retirement, love. And if you ever miss your workplace, I can be your boss, for free!
- Now that you’re done with your other job, you can go back to your main job- annoying me 24/7.
Funny Retirement Messages For a Friend
Please read them to gain ideas for hilarious retirement card messages to send to a friend, family member, coworker, or even a boss! The best aspect is that these messages can be delivered to anyone, regardless of gender or occupation
- Welcome to the old man club. It’s time to gossip about joint pain, high bp, sugar level, and Et cetera Et cetera.
- I know a lazy guy like you deserves an early retirement! Congrats on your well-deserved leisure.
- Congratulations to a lazy-bone like you for completing work-life! Finally, you can go back to being your true self.
- If life is a meal, retirement is its dessert. To enjoy it, stay fit, and don’t let your blood sugar go high!
- I wanted to wish you a fun retirement. But with this old fat body, I don’t see any fun coming towards you.
Funny Retirement Messages
We’ve compiled a list of amusing retirement goodbye letters that are sure to make the recipient giggle.
- Happy retirement and my advice is that you do not try to say that you are coming back because you will be surprised at people’s reactions. No one will give back your office, nor your parking space. No one misses you that much.
- All these years you argued with your colleagues, juniors, managers and your boss at work. After retirement, you will argue with your grand-kids, children and wife at home. Life remains the same.
- Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all. Have fun.
- It is interesting to note that when people are giving you retirement gifts there is always a watch or a clock as if to tell you that your time is up. Have a time free retirement.
- As I see it you have been practicing how to retire and now the real thing is here. You are so good at it that there should be no problem taking up your new role. Have a happy retirement.
- Every day of your retired life will feel like a happy Friday night. But it’s useless because being old will make you feel dull like Monday morning all the time. Happy retirement.
- Can you believe that finally from now on all days on your calendar are marked as Sunday? Enjoy them and may you always have a smile on your face. Happy retirement.
Funny Retirement Quotes
Retirement is a significant milestone in anyone’s life. This step drastically transforms one’s life. So, if you have a retiree in your family or at work, send them your love and a few chuckles.
- “Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous, When I was sixty-five – I still had pimples.” – George Burns
- “We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work – and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock.” – Dave Allen
- “Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money.” – Author Unknown
- “Retirement, we understand, is great if you are busy, rich and healthy. But then, under those conditions, work is great too.” – Bill Vaughan
- “When you retire, you switch bosses — from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” – Gene Perret
- “I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, My alarm clock, and my iron.” – Hartman Jule
- “When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.” – Gail Sheehy
- “First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.” – Branch Rickey
- “People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways. I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.” – George Burns
- “A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.” – Harry Mahtar
- “Retired people compliment my teeth, then tell me to take care of them. This always makes me think they are trying to steal them.” – Emily Claire Tamblyn
- “Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” – Gene Perret
- “Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements
- “I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They’re called naps.” – Harry Emerson Fosdick
- “The concept of freedom is never truly realized until one settles into retirement mode.” – A. Major
- “When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.” – R C Sherriff
Short Funny Retirement Wishes
Short, funny, and simple retirement wishes to say congratulations to the lucky retiree! These short messages are perfect for friends and family or to write in a group card to farewell a coworker.
- I’ll miss your energy, enthusiasm, and most of all, your unfailing dedication to helping this place function a little better every day. Wishing you nothing but the best in your retirement.
- Congratulations on your retirement – we’re so excited to see you have some time to enjoy and relax after all that hard work!
- Congratulations on your retirement!
- Congratulations! You’ve had a brilliant career, and now it’s time for a fantastic retirement – enjoy!
- Happy retirement! Enjoy your well-deserved time off.
- It’s your time to relax! Congratulations on your retirement – you’ve earned it!
- Congratulations on your long-awaited retirement – we’re so happy for you. Enjoy spending more time with your beautiful grandkids!
- Happy Retirement! All the best to you and your family at this exciting time.
- Congratulations! We hope you enjoy every minute of your retirement!
- It’s a big, beautiful world out there. Adventure awaits! Wishing you all the very best in your retirement!
- You made it! Congratulations on your retirement – we’ll miss you around the office.
- Wishing you a wonderful retirement. Enjoy this new chapter of your life, and we hope it’s filled with good health, relaxation, and fun!
Funny Retirement Wishes and Messages
Use these funny retirement wishes and card sentiments to celebrate them reaching retirement and send them on their way with a laugh.
- You’re not truly retired – [insert hobby, e.g., golfing or knitting] is a full-time job! Wishing you all the best in this new chapter of your life.
- Retirement is the only real excuse you’ll ever have to spend your entire life’s savings. Have fun!
- Welcome to retirement, where every day feels like the weekend, and soon you’ll forget what day it is!
- I’ve heard that there is never enough time to do all the nothing you want in retirement. But I’m sure you’ll make the most of every opportunity!
- Goodbye tension and hello pension! Congratulations from all of us to one well-deserving retiree.
- Busy Monday mornings, working late shifts, horrible coffee, and a demanding boss… of course, we know you’ll miss all of this! Congratulations on your retirement from your jealous coworkers!
- Retirement – it’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it! Congratulations, and enjoy your newfound freedom!
- We want you to know that we’ll miss you here at work, but understand that this feeling is not mutual! Enjoy your retirement!
- Wishing you a very happy retirement with plenty of time to get through that “to do” list of yours!
- Congratulations on your retirement! Now you’ll have more time for sleeping in, fishing, reading, and golfing… unless you want to trade places with me?